anti-patriarchy dating

here’s why modern day relationships aren’t working. and it’s not bc there aren’t any “good” men or women 

we’re operating within outdated social agreements. the social system of patriarchy (no shade, just what it’s called) made it so a woman’s survival or death and a man’s legacy or death depending on acquiring a mate. throughout the ages, a person’s self-worth automatically became tied to that mental thread of survival/legacy or death. 

acquiring was the primary but most likely unconscious goal of relationship. love was not the goal. acquiring = survival/legacy

our social rules have changed. acquiring no longer primarily serves survival or legacy. we must update our social software. dating sucks because we have updated our software. love isn’t hard. we’re just trying to run instagram on a flip phone, it’s hard if not impossible because the software is out of date. but if we upgrade to an iphone. instagram opens instantly. 

the goal of modern relationships must shift from acquiring to experiencing. discovery within yourself the relationship dynamics you want to experience. find a co-creator of that experience. if they can create with you, awesome. if they cannot, you make your choice on how to move forward.

this is dating outside of the outdated social system of patriarchy. egalitarian. focused on two people creating a dynamic.